I Submit to You the Estimation
A Supplication in Helplessness and Certainty
Introduction: An Invitation to Contemplation
This message serves as an organized reflection on a profound human experience, represented in the awareness of absolute reliance on divine power. It explores the spiritual journey that begins with acknowledging personal weakness and self-limitation, and leads to the tranquil reassurance found in complete surrender to God's will. By delving into this heartfelt supplication, we seek to witness how the declaration of helplessness transforms from a state of despair into the highest degrees of certainty, and how entrusting estimation to the Creator becomes the pinnacle of knowledge and the foundation of serenity.
First: Declaring Helplessness and Raising Hands – The Basis of Surrender
1. Prelude: The Importance of Acknowledging Limitation
In the soul's journey toward truth, declaring helplessness is not a step backward or a defeat, but rather the cornerstone upon which genuine faith is built. This acknowledgment is not despair in oneself, but certainty in the perfection of the Creator. It is a conscious act in which a person relinquishes illusions of control and opens the heart to receive divine management, realizing that true strength lies in reliance upon Him in whom there is no power nor might except through Him.
2. Analysis of the Declaration “I Leave Estimation to You”
This supplication begins with a declaration that is the essence of servitude and the key to reassurance: “I leave estimation to You, O Generous Giver, O Arranger of Affairs.” This is not a mere fleeting delegation, but a complete and deliberate surrender, stemming from knowledge of the One to whom the matter is entrusted. He is the “Generous Giver” whose bounty never diminishes, and the “Arranger of Affairs” whose estimation never errs. This decision is affirmed by the statement: “I have declared my helplessness since ancient times and raised my hands from the beginning,” indicating that this surrender is not born of a moment of weakness, but a steadfast truth upon which the servant's relationship with the Lord has stood since eternity.
3. A Story Without a Human Ending
The supplicant deepens this meaning through a vivid metaphor, seeing his life as an open-ended story: “I left my story without an ending… I made my story end with You.” From this perspective, one relinquishes the attempt to write the last line of his tale and entrusts his pen to the Greatest Writer. Through this surrender, the endless pain and unceasing sorrow, “and my pain has no end and my grief no dot,” transform from mere senseless suffering into verses with profound meaning, as he affirms: “Indeed, in this there is a sign for those who reflect.” Moreover, this human story, with all its wounds, is left to bleed forever, witnessing the greatness of the inexhaustible divine narrative: “I made my story bleed forever, and even if the sea were ink for the words of Your story, the sea would run dry before Your words run out.” Here, pain itself becomes the ink with which God writes His eternal wisdom.
4. Transitional Conclusion
This absolute surrender arises from a deep understanding of human existence, that nature in which the truth of inherent weakness is manifest.
Second: The Reality of Human Weakness – Exploring the Mortal Being
1. Prelude: The Miracle of Endurance Amid Fragility
The contemplative describes life as a “miracle,” not because it is free from weakness, but because it persists despite weakness. That a mortal being withstands storms and smiles despite reasons to weep is itself the miracle. This section explores the fragility inherent in human nature, which renders endurance a divine favor rather than a personal strength.
2. Dissecting Inherent Weakness
3. Desperate Attempts at Healing
This supplication emphasizes the reality that humans are incapable of healing themselves by themselves. Human efforts to mend spiritual fractures fail, as expressed: “No matter how I patch my wound and no matter how I treat my pain, I find a fissure behind the fissure.” The attempt “to patch what cannot be patched and to close what cannot be closed” is a harsh but necessary lesson, leading to certainty that the true Healer is God alone, and that independent human attempts only deepen the wound.
4. Transitional Conclusion
In contrast to this absolute human weakness, the greatness of Lordship and the limitless power of the Creator are revealed.
Third: The Majesty of Lordship and the Greatness of the Creator
1. In the Presence of Holiness and Majesty
Focus now shifts from the mortal created being to the eternal Creator. Surrender is not in a void, but within the expanse of power, knowledge, and mercy.
2. Attributes of the Benefactor and Giver
Generous Giver, Arranger of Affairs, Possessor of Majesty and Holiness, True Owner, Benefactor and Giver, and the greatest blessing is the existence of the Benefactor.
3. There is No Power or Might Except Through Him
4. Transitional Conclusion
This acknowledgment of God’s majesty leads to certainty of encounter.
Fourth: Certainty of the Hereafter – Between Fear and Hope
1. Prelude: Evoking the Scene of Resurrection
The resurrection is experienced as presence, not as mere concept.
2. Scenes from Surah Al-Qiyamah and Human Experience
Panic, “Where is escape?” then Paradise, silk, and divine pleasure.
3. Warning of the Messengers
4. Transitional Conclusion
Returning to the self in the language of supplication.
Fifth: The Pinnacle of Supplication – Hope Before the Generous
1. Prelude: The Language of Supplication
Supplication is the essence of the journey.
2. Praise and Gratitude
Praise until contentment, after contentment, and on the Names and Attributes.
3. Essence of the Request
Looking toward the Generous Face, forgiveness and well-being, steadfastness, and a good end.
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